


under the surface (yandere!canada x reader x teacher!england)

by septembereyes (Ultraviolet_Skies)



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Student/Teacher, F/M, High School, Reader-Insert, Slow Burn, Teacher-Student Relationship, Yandere, Yandere Canada, Yandere!Canada
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:35:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25241005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ultraviolet_Skies/pseuds/septembereyes
Summary: After watching you for far too long, shy Matthieu decides to make his move. Unfortunately for him, you find yourself involved with other, more pressing matters that somehow manage to foil his advances. In a dizzying array of events, you must navigate your new role as somebody who matters-- no longer the average girl you were before, blending in with the background. Besides having to accommodate your new spotlight, you quickly discover Matthieu has a jealous streak...
Relationships: Canada (Hetalia)/Reader, England (Hetalia)/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	1. esse est percipi

**Author's Note:**

> the chapter title - "to be is to be perceived"
> 
> new series, hope you enjoy :)

All you ever wanted was to be noticed.

Your entire life, you’d believed you weren’t anything special.

Everyone around you, of course, had something unique to offer. Your friends were smart. Funny. Talented. Your siblings made straight A’s. The girls walking the halls at your school wore expensive clothing and strutted with clouds of designer perfume trailing behind them. The boys sported toned muscles and lived with pride written all over their faces.

But you? What did you have?

You never stood out in any particular way. Average height, average eyes and face, an average body… Average mind. If the word “average” could be personified… it would be you, without a doubt.

“Last stop!”

You looked up. Startled, you scrambled off of your seat, dragging your bag along with you. Turning at the last minute, you dove for your diary. Well, maybe it wasn’t the best idea to call it that. A journal perhaps? A keepsake? You weren’t a six-year-old kid anymore, anyway. Your journal slammed shut in your fingers, flying into the depths of your bag.

“Have a good night!” you called out to the bus driver as you hopped off of the bus.

Not sparing even a glance, the driver shut the doors behind you. The bus pulled away, silent save the whirring of its engine.

You sighed.

Another average day, another average ending.

INTERMISSION

“Does anyone want to work with X?”

The class grew silent.

Of course.

“Alright, X… I suppose you can work alone.”

You smiled. It didn’t quite reach your eyes.

It was alright, really. You were used to it. You’d had a friend in this class, but he’d switched into another one to be with his best friend. And she’d switched out of your next class-- you guessed it-- to be with him.

Figures.

You rummaged through your bag for a clean, sharpened pencil. Layers and layers of paper, food wrappers, and crumbled up notebook paper stood in your way. Grimacing at the crud that had wormed its way under your fingernails, you finally brushed against painted wood.

“Aha!”

Alas, it was unsharpened.

“Dammit…”

“H-hey.”

The voice was so quiet at first you didn’t know if you’d heard it or if you were so crazy with loneliness you’d begun to imagine things.

“Um…”

You turned around.

Oh… it’s that Matthieu kid.

“What’s up, Matthieu?” you whispered back.

“I have an extra pencil you can borrow…”

You smiled, your cheeks beginning to glow, “Aww, thanks Matthieu.”

He handed you the pencil and for the briefest of moments your fingers touched.

Jolting back, you stared at the pencil in your hands. The electricity in that touch jump started your heart and it had decided to start pounding against your chest in an effort to escape your ribcage.

Matthieu stared into the same space, his cheeks glowing just as much if not darker.

“Yo, Matthieu.”

By then, you’d already turned back around. You could still feel his soft skin gliding over yours, a feather-light touch that would take you a while to forget. Your cheeks flushed at the thought.

“I can’t work with you anymore, dude. Francis just texted me he wants me as a partner.”

Your ears pricked up.

“O-okay…”

You leaned to the side, your cheek cupped in your hand. You were really bad at being nonchalant.

That same feather-light touch grazed your bare shoulder.

You were surprised you didn’t melt into the floor right then and there. But the hairs where he had touched you stood erect and prickled.

“Hey, X…”

“Yes, Matthieu?” you asked, half-turned around.

“Would- would you wanna be partners?”

“Sure,” you whispered back, but on the inside you were screaming success.

_Wow, someone really noticed me..._

INTERMISSION

“X, can you stay after class?”

The bell had nearly drowned out your teachers voice. Between students rushing out the door, you’d nodded your affirmation.

Still, you packed up your belongings. It wasn’t much, other than some candy wrappers, a dead notebook, and the pencil that Matthieu had loaned you.

Matthieu. That’s right.

Looking up, you remembered your teacher’s request.

Matthieu would have to wait for later.

“X…”

You looked up, the door had suddenly shut just as you remembered the teacher had shut the blinds.

“Mr. Kirkland…?” you said, a hard candy in your mouth.

Your neck hurt, craned at such an impossible angle.

With the barest light in the room, your history teacher’s eyes seemed to glow. He had drawn so close to you, your head coming to his chest, just about.

“Is there something you wanted to talk about?” you asked, your voice garbled by the sweet piece nestled in your cheek.

Your breath caught in your throat as he placed a gloved finger beneath your chin. He lifted your chin up further, so your eyes lined up perfectly with his.

“You are quite the student, X.”

“Thank you, Mr. Kirkland...” you mumbled, surprised you didn’t stutter.

Mr. Kirkland really did have beautiful eyes. Rarest color in the population, if you’d remembered your biology class correctly. Of course, now wasn’t the time to be thinking about class subjects. But damn, that shade of green was really something...

“Is… is there something you need from me, Mr. Kirkland?” you asked, hesitant.

There was no plausible explanation as to why he held you back. You weren’t the best student in the class, far from it. Neither were you the worst. So why had he-?

Eyes blown open in shock, you froze as he bent over, his lips flush against yours.

The chatter of the students, their trailing footsteps and all the outside noise faded away. All you could hear in that moment was your heartbeat going kelunk, kelunk, kelunk in your ears. You weren’t sure what you wanted to do… time had seemed to pause, in this space.

You could smell Mr. Kirkland’s deodorant, spicy and fragrant at the same time. It smelled like your father’s…

You broke away from the kiss.

“Mr. Kirkland, I-”

“Shh,” he hushed you, and this time pushed you ‘til your knees buckled and you fell back onto the table.

By now your hands trembled at your sides. If not for his knee in between your legs, you surely would have collapsed. His mouth moved against yours, hands threading through your hair. Somewhere in the process, he’d lost his gloves, and his fingers were like thick irons, blasting heat and sending your brain into a pool of hazy oblivion.

Eventually, you began to kiss back.

INTERMISSION

Matthieu’d had a hard time finding you.

First, he searched the gym.

Sometimes, when he wanted to watch you, he’d sit far enough away from the window so he was out of sight, but close enough to watch you as you read or stared at the wall.

He never really understood why you’d wait there, sometime for hours on end.

You wouldn’t talk to anyone, not for lack of trying. So many times, he’d wanted to come up to you. Just to talk to you, say hi. But something deep inside him would stop him, every time. Like a root sticking him firmly to the ground.

But not today. He’d decided that today was the day that he’d man up, and go find you.

“Mr. Kirkland…?”

Through a crack in the shades, he could make out two figures. With your back to him, Matthieu couldn’t understand why you were sitting on the table. And why Mr. Kirkland was so close to you.

He had the ugliest sinkhole in his stomach.

_X must be busy… I guess._ He stared for a few seconds more. _I guess I can get my pencil back another day._

____

____

Still, something tugged on him to go inside. Open the door, it said.

Matthieu chose to ignore it.

“C’mon, Kuma.”

The bear stared up at him, eyes blank.

“Who are you?”

“I’m Matthieu,” he said, and with that, he scooped the bear up in his arms and began to walk.

I guess I’ll just have to wait and see X another day, Matthieu thought, a wistful look over his eyes.


	2. l' ombre

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You learn that you must be much more careful with your actions-- they may have unforeseen consequences.

Shaken, you hurried off of the bus stop.

Brushing a finger against your lips, you flushed red. Remembering what had happened that afternoon left you more than a little conflicted.

(Mr. Kirkland…)

 __Slinging your bag over the dining room chair, you settled into your seat and pulled out the remainder of your homework._ _

__(Then again… he said I didn’t have to do it.)_ _ ___ _

____You frowned. It would be incredibly suspicious if you were the only one who didn’t receive negative marks for that assignment. Even if Mr. Kirkland said you were exempt, that time…_ _ _ _ ___ _

____“Ugh, what am I going to do about him?!”_ _ _ _ ___ _

____“Who are you speaking of, my little sunflower?”_ _ _ _ ___ _

____“Ivan!”_ _ _ _ ___ _

____A bright smile broke out on your face and you leapt into the older man’s arms._ _ _ _ ___ _

____A rare smile flickered on Ivan’s face as he embraced you and then set you down on the floor. Not until after he got a good squeeze out of you, though._ _ _ _ ___ _

____“So… what is the meaning of this boy?”_ _ _ _ ___ _

____“Uhh…”_ _ _ _ ___ _

____Your cheeks reddened as you remembered the heated afternoon you’d spent in Mr. Kirkland’s room. The cold wooden surface becoming slick with your sweat, his silky tie, the way your core had tightened impossibly with him pressing his knee in between your legs._ _ _ _ ___ _

____“No-one, sir. I was just…”_ _ _ _ ___ _

____“Hmm?”_ _ _ _ ___ _

____“Thinking of who I can go to the dance with.”_ _ _ _ ___ _

____Ivan’s brows furrowed. “You have no need to attend this silly dance, my little sunflower. You have all the music you need right here!”_ _ _ _ ___ _

____You yelped as Ivan swept you up in a flash, briefly pausing to switch on the music player. Tchaikovsky filled the room, the sound echoing and bouncing off the barren walls in your apartment. You nestled your cheek into Ivan’s lapel, enjoying the warmth radiating off of his chest._ _ _ _ ___ _

____“See, my little sunflower? There is no need for these silly things. And maybe I will allow you to play some piano for me before I leave, hm?”_ _ _ _ ___ _

____You nodded in agreement. Your eyes glazed over, the sound of Tchaikovsky fading as you remembered the sound of the rain tapping insistently on the school windows. The way the frost had crept in, wafting through the air but rebuked by Arthur’s warm, naked chest._ _ _ _ ___ _

____“X!”_ _ _ _ ___ _

____You snapped out of it._ _ _ _ ___ _

____Ivan rarely ever used your name. This had to be something important._ _ _ _ ___ _

____“I have to go, my dear.” Ivan kissed your hand, checking his watch. “Is important, little one, do not stay up so late. Borscht is on the counter.”_ _ _ _ ___ _

____He left in a flurry of heavy cloaks and a sliver of winter wind slipped past him as the front door shut hard._ _ _ _ ___ _

____You stared mindlessly at the wooden table, eyes lost in the infinite wooden grains._ _ _ _ ___ _

____Your stomach growled but you paid it no mind. You were far, far away from the scene in that cold little apartment, your slouched figure swallowed by the icy, exposed brick._ _ _ _ ___ _

____INTERMISSION_ _ _ _ ___ _

____“It looks like it’s too rainy outside to do any sort of physical activity today.”_ _ _ _ ___ _

____Half the class erupted in cheers. The other half-- resigned groans._ _ _ _ ___ _

____“Don’t get too excited now. At any rate, I suppose I can grant you the afternoon off.”_ _ _ _ ___ _

____This time, everybody was happy._ _ _ _ ___ _

____“Class dismissed.”_ _ _ _ ___ _

____The sound of metal scraping linoleum overtook the room._ _ _ _ ___ _

____“Except for you, X.”_ _ _ _ ___ _

____Your heart stuttered in place._ _ _ _ ___ _

____“I’m really sorry, Mr. Kirkland, I have to go-”_ _ _ _ ___ _

____“X, wait-!”_ _ _ _ ___ _

____You clutched your bag to your side, beneath your armpit, and took off out of the classroom. You dared to look behind you and saw with horror that Mr. Kirkland was not far behind._ _ _ _ ___ _

____“Oof-” you grunted._ _ _ _ ___ _

____“...”_ _ _ _ ___ _

____“Matthieu?”_ _ _ _ ___ _

____“Eh-?!”_ _ _ _ ___ _

____His soft blonde hair had fallen into his eyes, two blue little spheres that twinkled with some sort of emotion that you couldn’t quite decipher. Once he realized you were looking at him, a pink glow cast over his face and he ducked his head away, burying it into his shoulder._ _ _ _ ___ _

____“How did you know-”_ _ _ _ ___ _

____“I… I followed you.”_ _ _ _ ___ _

____You drew your legs up to your chest._ _ _ _ ___ _

____Out of the corner of your eye, you saw a flash of forest green and birch tree blonde. You shied away from the light, crawling back further into the dusty, dark space._ _ _ _ ___ _

____“Oh-”_ _ _ _ ___ _

____Something soft tickled your forehead. You wrinkled your nose, irritated at the sensation._ _ _ _ ___ _

____And someone breathed-- a very soft and ragged breath._ _ _ _ ___ _

____You went rigid._ _ _ _ ___ _

____Something grazed your forearm, something like fingertips-- and then you found your back pressed against something hard. A weight dug into the crook of your neck-- the space between your head and shoulder. And the breath continued, ghosting over your skin and raising the hairs there._ _ _ _ ___ _

____“Matthieu…?”_ _ _ _ ___ _

____“Shh,” his voice came, breathy and hushed, “j-just… let’s wait until Mr. Kirkland is gone.”_ _ _ _ ___ _

____They waited with bated breath._ _ _ _ ___ _

____You sniffed the air. It smelled different. Less like mildew and dust, and more like…_ _ _ _ ___ _

____“Maple syrup?”_ _ _ _ ___ _

____Matthieu’s breath hitched._ _ _ _ ___ _

____“I-I think it’s probably safe for us to come out now.”_ _ _ _ ___ _

____“Mm... you think so?”_ _ _ _ ___ _

____You moved as if to get up, but something restrained you._ _ _ _ ___ _

____“Huh…?”_ _ _ _ ___ _

____“Wait,” he gasped, arm tucked around your midsection. You moved against it, testing his strength. Surprisingly, he didn’t budge._ _ _ _ ___ _

____“I- X.”_ _ _ _ ___ _

____“Yes, Matthieu?”_ _ _ _ ___ _

____It was starting to get a bit weird for you now._ _ _ _ ___ _

____“What were you doing in Mr. Kirkland’s yesterday after class?”_ _ _ _ ___ _

____Surprisingly Matthieu managed to get an entire sentence out without studying._ _ _ _ ___ _

____You lunged for the door, perhaps the element of surprise gave you an advantage-_ _ _ _ ___ _

____“Stay, X.”_ _ _ _ ___ _

____A very warm, and very firm hand gripped your ankle._ _ _ _ ___ _

____(What’s gotten into him…?)_ _ _ _ ___ _

____“Okay, okay, Matthieu,” you said, but the hand on your ankle didn’t move an inch._ _ _ _ ___ _

____Awkwardly, you scooted back until you were sitting directly in front of him again. Gingerly, the warmth left your ankle and found its place on your chest._ _ _ _ ___ _

____“Matthieu-?”_ _ _ _ ___ _

____You gasped, feeling yourself fall back._ _ _ _ ___ _

____Matthieu had tugged you against him, bringing his legs up to cage you inside his grasp._ _ _ _ ___ _

____“If he hurt you, X…”_ _ _ _ ___ _

____Your heart stuttered in your chest._ _ _ _ ___ _

____What had gotten into Matthieu? You only ever knew him as the quiet, nondescript character that sat kitty corner to you, for the last three years of high school. Sure, you’d  
always noticed him, but his behavior now seemed so out of character._ _ _ _ ___ _

____“Well?”_ _ _ _ ___ _

____“H-he didn’t do anything, Matthieu. I swear”_ _ _ _ ___ _

____The arm relaxed._ _ _ _ ___ _

____“I don’t want anyone to hurt you,” he mumbled into your ear._ _ _ _ ___ _

____His hot breath sent shivers across your skin._ _ _ _ ___ _

____“Matthieu, please…”_ _ _ _ ___ _

____Just then, the bell rang._ _ _ _ ___ _

____(It’s already been an hour?)_ _ _ _ ___ _

____“Matthieu, I have to go.”_ _ _ _ ___ _

____Silence._ _ _ _ ___ _

____“My father is waiting for me. You know how he is, right…?”_ _ _ _ ___ _

____And then release. You rubbed your chest, feeling warm._ _ _ _ ___ _

____“Alright, X,” there was that soft whisper again. Much more reminiscent of Matthieu than the strange strain that had stained his voice before. “Please, you know… you can  
come to me if anything happens.”_ _ _ _ ___ _

____“Okay…” you trailed off, and then made your way out of the dusty closet._ _ _ _


	3. Chapter 3

Lazily, you stirred your chicken soup.

“Ugh, there’s nothing to do,” you complained to the wall.

It stared back at you, dull red and silent as ever.

“Maybe I should invite someone over…” you mumbled under your breath, “but who could I…”

Matthieu.

His name stood out, one out of four contacts in your phone. Ivan, Alfred, and Jack...

_The project… that’s right._

_Wait… the project!_

“Matthieu!”

“X?”

“Tell me you’re free right now.”

A pause from the voice on the phone.

“I…”

“Alright, it’s settled then. Text you my address.”

You took a moment to send it and then chucked your phone on the floor. You stretched briefly before laying down on the couch. Ivan hated when you did that, especially when you put your feet up on the arms. Good thing he wasn’t here then… And Matthieu too. You had a bit of time until he’d show up, nothing wrong with a nap, right?

Right?

Right…

_Knock knock._

“Oh shit,” you said, scrambling off of the couch. 

You fell and smashed your face on the ground. 

“Ohhh fuck,” you cursed, gripping your shirt and bringing it up to your nose. You made a mad dash for the front door, letting it swing open before you ran to the kitchen and grabbed a towel.

“X? What’s wrong? Oh my goodness, you’re bleeding!”

Two strong arms wrapped around you from behind. You moaned as his presence had jostled you and sent your hand further into the bruised cartilage on your nose.

“Matthieu,” you whined, “that hurt!”

“Gosh, I am so sorry, X,” Matthieu whispered. Peering at you over his glasses, he took in every inch of you from your vibrant eyes to your luscious hair. He wanted nothing more than to swallow you in his arms forever.

“It’s fine,” you mumbled, pushing Matthieu aside. Rummaging through the cupboards, you pulled out a glass and began to fill it with water.

“Here,” you said, your voice still nasal and tight with pain, “for you.”

Matthieu’s eyes widened, but he accepted. “Thank you.”

His fingertips drummed against the cup. _Tap tap tap._ _Tap tap tap. Tap tap ta-_

“Matthieu, please.”

Instantly he stopped.

You’d excused yourself to the couch, still cradling your very swollen and very angry nose.

“Sorry,” you sighed, “it’s just a bit irritating. The sound, I mean. That is, you’re not irritating.”

You internally groaned. Now you were starting to even irritate _yourself_.

A sudden gust of wind pushed you lightly as Matthieu plopped down beside you.

“Here, please let me…”

You regarded him with narrowed eyes but still allowed him to take the towel from you. 

“Pinch your nose.”

Your eyes narrowed further.

“Just… trust me.”

You rolled your eyes but did as he said. Leaning back in an attempt to relax, you didn't expect his reaction. 

“No!” he growled, lunging forward so fast you didn’t have time to react.

His body flush with yours, Matthieu leaned over you, one hand cradling the back of your head and the other still pressing the towel firmly to the underside of your nose. His eyes were locked onto yours, blue waters swimming with an intensity you couldn’t quite place. 

“X…” he said, the lecture he’d meant to give dying on his lips.

“Matthieu…” you said, your voice a faint whisper. 

He shook his head, interrupting the moment. Gingerly, he encouraged you to sit up, explaining that nosebleeds shouldn’t be dealt with lying down. Something about choking… you weren’t really sure. You had kind of stopped listening a while ago, still stuck mentally in that feeling you’d felt while he was on top of you, pinning you to the couch with one look from his bottomless eyes. 

“X,” he whispered, and he left his spot on the couch. 

You already missed his warmth somehow. Wait… _his_ spot?!

“Are you sure today is a good day,” came his muffled voice from somewhere in your kitchen.

On any other day you would’ve followed him into the kitchen and teased him about making himself at home, but today your head was swimming with blood and conflicting thoughts, flashbacks-

“Yeah, yeah,” you called back, “just get over here. We need to get a head start before my dad gets home.”

You sighed, more quietly than normal. 

Your dad was a whole ‘nother thing…

“Your dad, hm?” Matthieu mumbles, a much more familiar expression returning to his face. He pushes up his glasses before continuing, “Well, you can always come to mine, i-if you’d like.”

You lifted your head up more, regarding the boy standing in your kitchen hallway with curiosity.

 _He’s so forward… I would’ve never expected that from someone like him_.

“Of course, if you don’t want to- I-I’d completely understand…” he whispered.

You laughed, a cheeky grin brightening your face. “Alrighty then, cowboy, let’s get out of here!”

You noticed as soon as you stood up that the wet feeling in your nose was gone, replaced by something much more drying and itchy.

“Hey, my nosebleed’s gone!”

“That’s wonderful,” Matthieu whispered, and a warm smile grew on his face.

INTERMISSION

“Alright, we’re finally finished,” you announced, falling back onto Matthieu’s bed with a smile.

Still sitting up next to you, Matthieu remained upright.

“Matthieu…?” You trailed off, “Is something wrong?

Matthieu didn’t say a word. All that came out of him was a single tear, rolling down his cheek as gentle as the boy in question.

“Matthieu?” you asked, alarmed. You sat up immediately, shoulder brushing his arm as you laid a hand on his back, “Seriously, are you alright?”

From this vantage point you could see Matthieu a little better. A tiny smile had grown on his lips, a breathless sigh escaping his mouth.

“Thank you, X,” he whispered shyly, and you were stunned to find yourself pressed up against his chest.

You almost thought of saying something, then thought better of it.

“You’re welcome, Matthieu,” you whispered, rubbing his back gently, “you know I’m here for you, right?”

His arms only tightened in response.

You smiled against his chest. You wouldn’t deny it, you were curious what Matthieu was so thankful for. But frankly, if he didn’t want to tell you, it was none of your business, right? You settled for a soft sigh and embracing him even further. You didn’t get much physical affection from Ivan, anyway, so you didn’t mind the extended hug.

“S-sorry,” Matthieu said, pulling away with a sheepish expression on his face, “I must seem so weird to you now.”

“No,” you laughed, “not at all. I actually had a really good time with you today.”

“Really?”

You had to smile at the hopeful look in his eye.

“Really.”

_Bzzt._

Your face drained of color.

“Ohhhh shit.”

“X? What happened?”

You had already hopped off of Matthieu’s bed, hurriedly slipping your shoes on and pulling your hoodie over your head. It got stuck, though, in your panic. You started to hyperventilate, your arm wedged next to your head and the hood of your jacket pressing tightly against your skin.

“X…” Matthieu whispered, a slight smile on his face. He tugged on the hood, slipping it over your face and rearranging the sleeve so your arm was inside it. You looked so radiant, cheeks flushed with exertion.

“Matthieu-?”

“X…” he said.

_Bzzt._

“Crap. I really have to go.”

You finally finished putting your shoes on and raced down Matthieu’s stairs, only to bump into-

“Ivan?”

**Author's Note:**

> 2-13-21
> 
> hey guys - decided to pick up this series again. i've made small edits so that this fic can be gender neutral - i know how hard it can be to find male!reader fics or just gender neutral ones in general. i will probably make two different chapters for scenes that require gender specification. anyway, toodles! ch 2 should be out later today.


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